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Writer's pictureMukta Kapur

He loves me... He loves me not

He loves me.. He loves me not.. What about my feelings

Maira was sipping her morning tea as usual.. Everything was perfect except her state of mind. She felt heart broken, angry and humiliated at the same time. 

Maira is in her forties. There were a couple of times she had gone through such emotions in the past. But this time, she felt weak and hurt . 

Maira though in her forties is still charming and beautiful and a lot of men get attracted towards her. She is divorced  and a single dedicated parent to her teenage daughter. She is financially independent. Though she got divorced in her mid-twenties, she never felt the need to remarry. After one failed relationship,she was scared and was not ready to give another try. She was not looking for love. Her daughter was too young and needed her . She loved her very much and she was everything to her. Her life revolved around her. She would look after her every little need. Life was just perfect the way it was. 

Though her parents often expressed their desire that she give life another chance. But Maira was adamant. She was happy being single and independent. She had done fashion designing and owned a boutique in the heart of the city. She had a bunch of supportive good friends, caring parents and an adorable daughter. There were no regrets. Nothing as such was missing.. 

Years passed. Her daughter is now pretty much on her own and independent, Maira had more time to herself now. She now felt the need of a companion who would share her joys and sorrows. This was the first time in years she felt the need to be with someone. 

But as they say.. True love is hard to find.. Sometimes impossible.There was this guy named Andy who had always had a crush on Maira. Andy  had expressed his feelings a couple of times in the past but only Maira would not believe it. She never paid any heed to it .Andy is a handsome, good looking guy in his late thirties. He had never been married. 

Maira had seen Andy hanging out with other girls in the past. It was pretty easy to keep an eye on him as he is her neighbor. But when confronted, he had always said they were just friends, nothing more. 

The man had been sending mixed signals for quite some time. Only thing that was consistent was Andy not giving up on Maira . 

Andy had never been Maira's first choice.In Fact she had never pictured Andy in her frame of love. She had been in a relationship in the past but unfortunately things didn't work out. So Maira is left all alone once again. This is when Andy attracted Maira's attention. 

Maira admired Andy though, but she was never sure that he was the guy she was looking for. 

Andy is younger than her. Then he had never been married till now. Most of the guys of his age are happily married and well settled in life by this time. He if he desires can certainly get a life partner better than Maira.Maira was also aware of his playful and flirtatious nature. Then why was he after her like a mad guy after being turned down many times by her. 

Maira  had a soft corner in her heart for Andy. She kept her feelings to herself and never openly disclosed them. It was like both of them playing hide and seek with each other. Maira is always trying to hide and Andy is always on the lookout for Maira. 

One fine day Maira receives a call from Andy. He asked her to go out with him. Maira was doubtful initially but she said yes. Enough of hide and seek. 

Maira was keen to know what was going on in Andy's mind. 

The day and time was planned. They went for a long drive. It seemed pretty fair for a start. They talked about all sorts of things. It is when Andy disclosed that he used to climb to his terrace to see a glimpse of Maira and has had a crush on her even before she was married and he was still very young. He still loves to watch her secretly. 

Maira also revealed  about her past affair and her breakup with long time boyfriend sometime back. She wanted to marry this guy but then things didn't work out . They had been in a relationship for almost three years. But destiny had different plans. Things didn't work out between them after being together for so long. 

As for Andy he was also having a hard time with his present girlfriend. Yes, Andy had been in a relationship for a while now. He revealed this to Maira . 

There are weak moments in everyone's lives. Both Maira and Andy had been just good old neighbours in  the past. But nothing more than that. 

They spent a couple of hours together and enjoyed each other's company. Maira felt comfortable and at ease with Andy and the glitter in Andy's eyes said everything. 

Is falling in love that easy.. Maira was still doubtful but she was being swayed by the emotions. For one moment she wanted this to be true and happening. As for Andy he had waited for this moment for years. Finally they were together. 

But the very next moment.. She is Maira. There was something pricking hard inside her. The moment Andy bent down to kiss her, she pushed him back. Without saying anything, she left the place leaving Andy shocked and confused. 

She could not sleep the whole night. The thoughts kept troubling her. After struggling a lot with the situation she was in, Maira had finally arrived at a decision. 

The next morning Andy called her and asked her the reason for why she left when everything seemed right and perfect. 

Maira knew this was coming and she was ready for it. Maira is a straightforward woman and didn't like to twist and turn things so she asked Andy directly about his feelings for her. What about his future with his present girlfriend.. Are there any chances of reconciliation? As for Maira,she was single once again as she recently had a breakup. There were no strings attached.There was no chance that she would be going back to her ex boyfriend. All ties were broken. But Andy seemed to be sailing in two boats at the same time. Andy was not sure. All he wanted was to be just more than friends with Maira. He was not ready for any sort of commitment.Certainly if a man can't take a stand, clearly he is not in love. This was enough to hurt Maira's self respect. Just because Maira is a single parent and divorced doesn't by any chance mean she is an easy prey for men like Andy. Maira had always given prime importance to her dignity and self respect.When it comes to love and relationships, Maira had set very high standards and would not compromise on anything lesser than what she wants and deserves. And here is Andy asking her to be in a relationship of convenience. She was furious. Maira had always wanted her man to be brave, honest and faithful. And here Andy turned out to be totally meek and cowardly.These were certainly not the qualities Maira was looking for in her relationship. Not only Maira, any respectable and decent woman would not desire such qualities in her man. The first and foremost thing one looks for in a relationship is respect .Next at a certain point one needs to take a stand and be brave enough to give a name to the relationship that is just and fair in everyone's eyes. Last step is of course a lifelong reunion. 

It's sad  that the story didn't have a happy ending but Maira was relieved and happy as such a kind of relationship gives only a momentary pleasure and lifelong pain. There is no future for such relationships. 

Moral of the story: Relationships are complex. Everyone has weak moments in their lives. Do not get swayed by the emotions. Men like Andy can be found everywhere.Do not get misled by their behaviour. They are just looking for easy targets to satisfy their lust by naming it love. One who cannot give you respect is certainly not the one to fall in love with. Do not fall into their trap. Take the right decision. 

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6 Comments


Guest
Nov 17, 2022

Always be decisive as per inner voice and consider all pros and cons on all aspects of life and follow inner voice and leave the rest to God

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Mukta Kapur
Mukta Kapur
Nov 17, 2022
Replying to

U r right.. 🙏

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Guest
Sep 28, 2022

Mukta.... very well written....infact word LOVE itself is the dominant not clearly define.... whether it's feeling or just playing with feeling

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Mukta Kapur
Mukta Kapur
Sep 28, 2022
Replying to

Thank you for liking the post abd appreciation🙏🙏

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Guest
Sep 13, 2022

One who can't give you respect is not a true lover.

Try to escape from their trap

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Mukta Kapur
Mukta Kapur
Sep 13, 2022
Replying to

You are right❤. Thank you for the feedback😊🙏

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